林 巍
【原文】
学生比例
[1] 对于学校来说,在国际学生和英国学生之间形成合适的人数比例关系,已经成为了一个棘手的问题。
[2] 学校依赖富有的外国家长支付平均高达27600英镑的寄宿学费,这笔日渐上涨的费用已经超出了不少英国中产阶级的承受能力。
[3] 但是那些有钱家庭的外国学生,仍然源源不断地涌入,在相当程度上,支撑了英国经济的增长,特别是在当前英国脱欧的困境下,更是如此。
【点评】
就标题“学生比例”而言,有人译成Student Ratio,让人以为是“师生比例”,因ratio 本义为the relative magnitudes of two quantities (usually expressed as a quotient);有的用了The Proportion of Students,似欠明确,因该文指的是“国际学生和英国学生之间的比例关系”,故可译为 Proportion of International and Domestic Students。
[1] 中,“棘手的问题”,可以是a thorny / vexed issue、hot potato、tough nut、 daunting / knotty problem、challenge 等;在语序上,既可放在后面 … has become a vexed issue for the schools,也可提前 It has become a thorny issue for any school…, 以表强调。
“合适的人数比例关系”,有的用appropriate scale, 但scale 是指the size or extent of something especially when compared with something else 即主要指的是事物的规模、范围、程度等,而这里指的是人;有的译成a balance between the amount of international students and British students,应知amount is usually used to talk about things that are uncountable nouns, 即通常与不可数名词连用,如 a large amount of time/money/information 等,而此处的人数是可数的,故应用number, 如 a number of people/books/dogs等。
同时,该句可用名词作主语,如 the right mixture of international and British pupils;或用动宾结构,如to properly proportion the number of international and British students等。
故此,该句不妨译为:It has become a thorny issue for any school to properly proportion the number of international and British students.
[2] 中,“寄宿学费”有的用了revenues, 但该词本义是the money that a government receives from taxes or that an organization, etc. receives from its business, 即主要指政府的财政收入、税收或企业的收益等;“超出……承受能力”一般都译成 beyond financial capacity,但其中的分析起来,其中的这种“能力”是一种ability to be afforded,因而是affordability, 如This is a departure from the actual affordability of consumers, the consequences of violating the rules (这就是背离了消费者的实际承受能力, 违反规则的后果);the state's struggle over affordability represents, in extreme form, a national trend(该州人不堪高房价重负以其极端形式体现了全国的趋势)等,而“超出......能力”可以用beyond / exceed ability of … ; “平均高达27600英镑的寄宿学费”可直接译成the £27,600 a year average boarding fees,亦可放在括号里表述,如the rising average boarding fees (as high as £27,600 per year)。根据英文形合的特点,固然可以将两句译成一句,如Creating the right mixture of international and British pupils has become a vexed issue for the schools, who rely on wealthy foreigners to pay the £27,600 a year average boarding fees which are rising beyond the reach of UK middle classes. 但为清晰起见,不妨译为两句。故此,该句不妨译为:Schools nowadays rely on the rising average boarding fees (as high as £27,600 per year) paid by the wealthy foreign parents, which exceed the affordability of British middle-class families.
对于[3],“源源不断地涌入”可以是the continuous influx of foreign students、are still pouring in、…is rising constantly等,似乎都是可以接受的,要看前后语句的搭配;“困境”,大都用了dilemma、predicament、plight、trouble、crisis 等,分析起来,dilemma 指进退两难的情形,需在相等或相抵触的情况下作出抉择; predicament指一种不知该怎么办的疑难处境;plight 指糟糕或不幸的处境; trouble 指令人烦恼、痛苦、危险、匮乏的状态;crisis 指危机、危难时刻;就此语境而言,前三个比较恰当,最后一个似乎有些“过”了。综合而言,此句不妨译为:But foreign students from wealthy families are still pouring in, supporting, to a considerable extent, Britain's economic growth, especially in the current predicament of Brexit.
总之,看似相同的词语在译文中亦有细微差别,需悉心辨析。
【参考译文】
Proportion of International and Domestic Students
[1] It has become a thorny issue for any school to properly proportion the number of international and British students.
[2] Schools nowadays rely on the rising average boarding fees (as high as £27,600 per year) paid by the wealthy foreign parents, which exceed the affordability of British middle-class families.
[3] But foreign students from wealthy families are still pouring in, supporting, to a considerable extent, Britain's economic growth, especially in the current predicament of Brexit.