林 巍
【原文】 迪庆藏族自治州
[1] 迪庆藏族自治州位于滇西北，云南、西藏、四川三省交界处，迪庆，藏语意为吉祥如意的地方。
[2]以藏族为主体的8个兄弟民族世代生息繁衍在这片广袭的土地上。这儿就是传说中美丽的香格里拉。
[3] 这里不仅民族风情浓郁，同时还是一片具有生命灵气的宝地，草原广阔，山环水绕。梅里雪山主峰卡格博，屹立于迪庆西北，海拔
[4] 终年雪冠冰氅，云缠雾罩。长江巨龙用身体在这片土地上切出了一条世界最深的峡谷 — 虎跳峡。
[5] 那暴跳的激流没有一丝绿色，唯有生命的呼吸在沉重的隆隆声中诉说着什么。
【点评】
[1] 中，“藏族自治州”是一有中国特色的行政单位，可译为Tibetan Autonomous Prefecture；“三省交界处”，一般译成了on the border of Yunnan, Tibet and Sichuan provinces, 但其中的border 是指between two countries or regions is the dividing line between them （Sometimes the border also refers to the land close to this line），而“交界处”则多用at the junction of，如“莫诺湖位于内华达山脉东侧395和120公路交界处”（Mono Lake is located on the east side of the Sierra Nevada Mountains at the junction of Highways 395 and 120），The sinoatrial node is located at the junction of the superior vena cava and the right atrium （窦房结位于上腔静脉与右心房的交界处）；“藏语意为吉祥如意的地方”，其译文的主语应仍是 Diqing。因而，该段不妨译为：Diqing Tibetan Autonomous Prefecture is located in the northwest of Yunnan province, at the junction of three provinces – Yunnan, Tibet and Sichuan. “Diqing” in Tibetan means “an auspicious place”.
[2] 中，“以藏族为主体的8个兄弟民族”，按字面意思似可译成Eight ethnic groups with Tibetan as the main body / The Tibetan being the dominant group, eight ethnic minorities have been living for generations in this vast expanse of land / The eight brotherly ethnic groups, mainly Tibetans, have lived and thrived for generations in this vast land where also be known as the legendary and breathtaking Shangri-La.等，但为强调多民族的特色，可将词序调整为Although mainly ethnic Tibetans, altogether eight ethnic groups…; “传说中的”，legendary, 但前面应有相应的动词，即“流传”之意，如handing down 等。 故此，该段似可译为：Although mainly ethnic Tibetans, altogether eight ethnic groups have been living and multiplying in this vast land for generations, handing down the beautiful legendary Shangri-la.
对于[3], 比较典型的参赛译文，如 Abundant in ethnic folklore, this is also a treasure land with dynamic life, blessed with extensive grassland and surrounded with lofty mountains and running rivers. Towering in the northwest of as the apex of Diqing, Kagebo Peak, the main peak of Meri Snow Mountain also dominates Yunnan Province with its altitude of 6740 meters. / Showing simple and unsophisticated, the Prefecture boasts a scenic landscape with vast grasslands and water surrounded by mountains. As the dominant peak of Meili Mountain, Kagebo Peak, the vertex of Deqen and the highest peak in Yunnan Province as well, stands erect in the northwest of Deqen with an altitude of 6740 meters. / Rich in ethnic customs, this place also is a treasure land of life aura with vast grasslands, surrounded by mountains and water. Kagebo Peak, the main peak of Meili Snow Mountain, standing in the northwest of Dêqên with an altitude of 6740 meters, is the highest point of Dêqên and the first peak in Yunnan. 其中，“民族风情浓郁”，似可用in rich in national customs, 但这里有“不仅……同时还是……” 的语气转折，宜用强调性的 is not only distinctively characterized by it national customs, … ; “有生命灵气的宝地”，容易译成 a piece of land of life spirit, 实则应与后面的 “草原广阔，山环水绕”结合翻译，融合成a piece of extensive grassland surrounded by mountains and waters filled with a vital spirit；至于“最高点”和“第一峰”要处理好相应的词序和搭配。综合而言，整段不妨译为：The place is not only distinctively characterized by its national customs, but also a piece of extensive grassland surrounded by mountains and waters filled with a vital spirit. Kagebo Peak in Meili Snow Mountain, located in the northwest of Diqing, 6740 meters above sea level, is the highest point of Diqing and the first peak in Yunnan province.
[4] 中，有的做了较大的词序调整，如 he huge dragon – The Yangtze River, cuts the deepest canyon in the world with its torrent out of this land, which is covered with ice and snow, clouds and fogs all year round. This canyon is called The Tiger Leaping Gorge. 应该说基本可取，但最后部分未必要另起一句，而可译得更为精炼些。同时，“氅”是外衣，“雪冠冰氅，云缠雾罩”，是一种铺染，可概述为It is covered by snow and ice and surrounded by clouds…。故该段可译为：It is covered by snow and ice and surrounded by clouds all year round. The giant dragon of the Yangtze River has cut out one of the deepest canyons in the world – the Tiger Leaping Gorge.
[5]中， “暴跳的激流没有一丝绿色”似可按原文词序译成 There was not a trace of green in that surging torrent,但为表述明确、通顺，宜将 the surging torrent 作主语，“呼吸在沉重的隆隆声中”， 可为 breathes heavily and loudly；而“诉说着什么”，若译成 was telling something…, 则过于直白；同时，“唯有”并非要译成nothing but、only the、the only one而可用强烈的词语和句式加以衬托：The surging torrent, without a trace of green, breathes heavily and loudly, telling its own stories unceasingly.
可见，翻译未必是词语的一一对应，而须时时根据具体的语境，加以相应的变通。
【参考译文】
Diqing Tibetan Autonomous Prefecture
[1] Diqing Tibetan Autonomous Prefecture is located in the northwest of Yunnan province, at the junction of three provinces – Yunnan, Tibet and Sichuan. “Diqing” in Tibetan means “an auspicious place”.
[2] Although mainly ethnic Tibetans, altogether eight ethnic groups have been living and multiplying in this vast land for generations, handing down the beautiful legendary Shangri-la.
[3] The place is not only distinctively characterized by its national customs, but also a piece of extensive grassland surrounded by mountains and waters filled with a vital spirit. Kagebo Peak in Meili Snow Mountain, located in the northwest of Diqing, 6740 meters above sea level, is the highest point of Diqing and the first peak in Yunnan province.
[4] It is covered by snow and ice and surrounded by clouds all year round. The giant dragon of the Yangtze River has cut out one of the deepest canyons in the world – the Tiger Leaping Gorge.
[5] The surging torrent, without a trace of green, breathes heavily and loudly, telling its own stories unceasingly.