林 巍
【原文】
变野为文
[1] 人生于自然。自然赋予的资本不少，可见者为肉体，不可见者还有本能、资质之类。
[2] 但为了能活并且活得好，他或她就还要取得应付环境的多种能力。这多种能力，可以概括为两个方面：知和德。
[3]人生来都是野的，为了能在自然的社会中生活，而且活得好，就必须变野为文。变野为文，要靠身外的力量以文明化之。
【点评】
这是关于人类社会文明演进的一段论述，言简意赅。
就题目“变野为文”而言，有的译成From Wilderness to Civilization、The transformation of human from savage to civilized、Turn Savageness into Civilization等，但结合该文内容“靠身外的力量以文明化之”，可译为Being Civilized by Way of External Cultivation。
[1] 中，“人生于自然”，很容易译成Man is born in nature、Human beings are born from nature、The nature has upbrought the human等，似乎不错，但分析起来，其实质是是什么？是Man is part of nature；“资本”一般是capital, 有的译成treasures，但此处讲的是自然意义上对人的价值(a useful or valuable quality)，故宜为asset。“可见”、“不可见”可用visible、invisible 但要分别辨析，而“肉体”不是一般意义上的flesh、clay、body 等，而是物理学上与nature 相对应的physical beings。因而，该段不妨译为 Man is part of nature, which endows us with quite a lot of assets both visible and invisible. Visibly these are manifested in our physical beings; invisibly they are innate instinct and intelligence, among many other things.
对于[2]，较为典型的参赛译文，如However,in order to live and live well,he or she have to develop a variety of abilities to cope with environment.And all these various abilities can be summarized in two aspects: knowledge and character. / But in order to live and live well, he or she must also acquire various abilities to cope with the environment. These abilities can be generalized in two aspects: knowledge and virtue. / However, to live and live well, one must acquire various abilities, which can be summarized in two aspects: knowledge and virtue, to cope with the environment等，分析起来，“为了”可用in order to、for the sake of、by way of、in the interest of 等；“多种能力”在原文中出现两次，在译文里不应重复，而“可以概括为两个方面”似可译成can be summarized into two aspects: …, 但可采取相应简化方式。所以，可考虑译为 In order to survive and live a better life, he or she has to acquire various abilities (mainly knowledge and virtue) to cope with the environment.
[3] 中，“野”这里不是wild、rough、savagery等，而是相对“文”而言的，故可用uncivilized; 此处的“而且活得好”，一般译成In order to live in the natural society and live well / Only in this way can we live in the natural society and live well / and in order to live in a natural society and to have a better life 等，但要避免与前面的“并且活得好”相重复，不宜再用In order to… live a better life / live well ,而需选择其他更适宜的词。“人生来都是野的”，若译成All men are born uncivilized, 单独成句，未尝不可，但要考虑如何与其他句子成分相结合，且要简练，故不妨用插入语的形式people – born uncivilized – …；而所谓“身外的力量”实则是指“外界的文明、教化”。故此，整段不妨译为 To live in a natural society, or even more so, decently, people – born uncivilized – have to be civilized by way of external cultivation.
总之，好的译文，既要忠实原文，又要注重语言的错落、变化。
【参考译文】
Being Civilized by Way of External Cultivation
[1] Man is part of nature, which endows us with quite a lot of assets both visible and invisible. Visibly these are manifested in our physical beings; invisibly they are innate instinct and intelligence, among many other things.
[2] In order to survive and live a better life, he or she has to acquire various abilities (mainly knowledge and virtue) to cope with the environment.
[3] To live in a natural society, or even more so, decently, people – born uncivilized – have to be civilized by way of external cultivation.